[Patrick Griffin]

Now that Mark and I put out the announcement about the relaunch of the Strategic Negotiations curriculum, I’d love to hear from other Partnernomics members about their perspective on negotiations.

What would you like to understand better about negotiations?

What do you like/hate about negotiating?

Do you have any negotiation outcomes you want to brag about?

[Patrick Griffin]

Great call, @Marty

The Harvard PON is terrific, and I received some training from them earlier in my career. They have a ton of valuable resources on their site that can be accessed with a free registration. I think they sometimes get a little too deep into an academic bubble, but I consider it essential to understand their guidance.

[Patrick Griffin]

Oh, and as it relates to people accustomed to zero sum outcomes, there are a host of fundamentals to keep in your back pocket.

1) Know when to walk away – a bad deal is worse than no deal

2) Use the opportunity to show them how a mutually-beneficial outcome is more accretive

It’s my experience that people are more prone to steamrolling if they have someone they are trying to impress, typically management. So in those cases it is useful to remember that in negotiations there are both individual and institutional objectives.

[Patrick Griffin]

Thanks Mary, these are great questions. I’ve seen a lot of bullying tactics and they can take a few different shapes; interrupting, personal comments meant to elicit an emotional reaction, just general aggression, etc.

First off, you should try to determine if it’s a tactic, a cultural difference or something else. No matter what the driver is, it is disruptive and not conducive to a productive negotiation.

I’ve found that the most important way to handle that is to keep your own emotions in check, and don’t let them get a rise out of you. If they are interrupting, the first instance or two you can hear them out and ask questions about the points they make to get them to explain further. However, if it persists and gets in the way of you being able to communicate, then I’d suggest taking a break and calmly remarking on it, e.g. “I know you have a lot to share, and I do too. I think we may be talking past each other, so let’s take a break.”

If someone is raising their voice as they interrupt, which is common, you want to avoid tone-matching. Social-mirroring is useful when communication is benign, but not if one party if trying to escalate. In those cases, keeping a level tone is a very powerful statement.